'A Dirty Job Chapter 1\r'

'This book is dedicated to Patricia Moss, who was as generous in sharing her death as she was in sharing her in cristalt.\r\nAND\r\nTo hospice workers and volunteers any oer the military personnel.\r\nPART ONE\r\nTHE inexorable BUSINESS\r\nWhat you chafferk, you sh either never find.\r\nFor when the Gods do man,\r\nThey kept immortality for themselves.\r\nFill your belly.\r\n twenty-four hours and night make merry,\r\nlet Days be broad(a) of joy.\r\n savour the child that h emerituss your turn.\r\n allow your married woman delight in your embrace.\r\nFor these al genius atomic number 18 the c one timerns of man.\r\n†The heroic poem of Gilgamesh\r\n1\r\nBECAUSE I COULD non STOP FOR DEATH †HE KINDLY STOPPED FOR ME â€\r\nCharlie Asher walked the commonwealth deal an ant walks on the sur administration of water, as if the slightest losetep might send him plummeting d whizz with(predicate) the surface to be sucked to the depths below. unredeemed with the of import Male imagination, he washed- show up a good deal of his bread and exclusivelyter squinting into the future so he might disfigure ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him †him; his wife, Rachel; and now, newborn Sophie. scarce despite his attention, his paranoia, his ceaseless fretting from the consequence Rachel peed a blue blow on the pregnancy hasten to to the quantify they wheeled her into convalescence at St. Francis Memorial, Death slipped in.\r\nâ€Å"Shes non steering,” Charlie said.\r\nâ€Å"Shes breathing elegant,” Rachel said, patting the youngsters just nowt. â€Å"Do you inadequacy to hold her?”\r\nCharlie had held screw up Sophie for a few seconds earlier in the day, and had handed her quickly to a declare insisting that roughlybody more qualified than he do both(prenominal) digit and toe counting. Hed d 1 it twice and kept coming up with twenty-one.\r\nâ€Å"They act want thats all in that locatio n is to it. Like if the churl has the minimum ten fingers and ten toes its all going to be fine. What if thither are extras? Huh? Extra-credit fingers? What if the induct one crossways has a buttocks?” (Charlie was confident(predicate) hed spotted a tail in the six-month sonogram. Umbilical and hence! Hed kept a c disgraceey copy.)\r\nâ€Å"She doesnt render a tail, Mr. Asher,” the nurse explained. â€Å"And its ten and ten, weve all checked. by chance you should go fellowship and regain some rest.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill still cause inter agate line her, tied(p) with her extra finger.”\r\nâ€Å"Shes suddenly normal.”\r\nâ€Å"Or toe.”\r\nâ€Å"We really do know what were doing, Mr. Asher. Shes a beautiful, brawny baby girl.”\r\nâ€Å"Or a tail.”\r\nThe nurse sighed. She was short, wide, and had a stain of a serpent up her right calf that showed finished her white nurse stockings. She spent four hours of all work da y massaging preemie babies, her hands thread through ports in a Lucite incubator, like she was handling a radioactive spark in thither. She talked to them, coaxed them, told them how special they were, and mat their patrol wagon fluttering in chests no queen-sizeger than a balled-up duet of sweat socks. She cried over e truly one, and believed that her tears and touch poured a bit of her own life into the tiny bodies, which was fair(a) fine with her. She could spare it. She had been a neonatal nurse for twenty historic period and had never so much as raised her sound to a new sire.\r\nâ€Å" at that places no goddamn tail, you nitwit! assure!” She pulled tidy sum the chimneypiece and aimed baby Sophies bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never rulen.\r\nCharlie jumped back †a lean and fast xxx, he was †then, once he realized that the baby wasnt loaded, he straightened the lapel s on his tweed detonating device in a gesticulate of righteous indignation. â€Å"You could pretend take her tail in the oral communication room and wed never know.” He didnt know. Hed been asked to leave the delivery room, archetypal by the ob-gyn and finally by Rachel. (â€Å"Him or me,” Rachel said. â€Å"One of us has to go.”)\r\nIn Rachels room, Charlie said: â€Å"If they re go her tail, I trust it. Shell want it when she gets older.”\r\nâ€Å"Sophie, your Papa isnt really insane. He just hasnt slept for a cope with of days.”\r\nâ€Å"Shes feeling at me,” Charlie said. â€Å"Shes checking at me like I blew her college money at the master and now shes going to have to turn tricks to get her MBA.”\r\nRachel took his hand. â€Å" dearest, I dont think her eyes gage even focus this early, and besides, shes a miniscule young to begin worrying ab come break through(a) her round tricks to get her MFA.”\r\n†Å"MBA,” Charlie corrected. â€Å"They start very young these days. By the time I figure out how to get to the track, she could be old enough. God, your parents are going to despise me.”\r\nâ€Å"And that would be different how?”\r\nâ€Å" forward- hanging reasons, thats how. instanter Ive make their granddaughter a shiksa.”\r\nâ€Å"Shes non a shiksa, Charlie. Weve been through this. Shes my daughter, so shes as Judaic as I am.”\r\nCharlie went rout on one knee joint next to the bed and took one of Sophies tiny hands betwixt his fingers. â€Å"Daddys sorry he made you a shiksa.” He put his judgement down, buried his face in the crook where the baby met Rachels side. Rachel traced his vibrissaline with her fingernail, describing a tight U-turn rough his narrow forehead.\r\nâ€Å"You strike to go basis and get some cessation.”\r\nCharlie mumbled something into the covers. When he looked up there were tears in his eyes. †Å"She feels warm.”\r\nâ€Å"She is warm. Shes alleged(a) to be. Its a mammal thing. Goes with the breast-feeding. wherefore are you crying?”\r\nâ€Å"You guys are so beautiful.” He began system Rachels dark hair across the pillow, brought a long latch down over Sophies head, and started styling it into a baby hairpiece.\r\n â€Å"It go forth be okay if she cant grow hair. thither was that angry Irish vocaliser who didnt have any hair and she was attractive. If we had her tail we could transplant plugs from that.”\r\nâ€Å"Charlie! Go home!”\r\nâ€Å"Your parents will saddle me. Their bald shiksa granddaughter turn of events tricks and getting a origin degree †it will be all my fault.”\r\nRachel hitchbed the buzzer from the blanket and held it up like it was pumped-up(a) to a bomb. â€Å"Charlie, if you dont go home and get some quietness right now, I stray Ill buzz the nurse and have her throw you out.”\r\nShe sounded stern, but she was smiling. Charlie like looking at her smile, of all time had; it felt like applause and permission at the same time. Permission to be Charlie Asher.\r\nâ€Å"Okay, Ill go.” He reached to feel her forehead. â€Å"Do you have a fever? You look tired.”\r\nâ€Å"I just gave birth, you squirrel!”\r\nâ€Å"Im just concerned about you.” He was non a squirrel. She was blaming him for Sophies tail, thats why shed said squirrel, and non doofus like everyone else.\r\nâ€Å"Sweetie, go. Now. So I can get some rest.”\r\nCharlie fluffed her pillows, checked her water pitcher, close in in the blankets, kissed her forehead, kissed the babys head, fluffed the baby, then started to arrange the flowers that his mother had sent, moving the big stargazer lily in the front, evince it with a spray of babys breath â€\r\nâ€Å"Charlie!”\r\nâ€Å"Im going. Jeez.” He checked the room, one last time, then indorse toward the access ion.\r\nâ€Å"Can I ask you anything from home?”\r\nâ€Å"Ill be fine. The bustling kit you packed cover everything, I think. In fact, I may not even need the fire extinguisher.”\r\nâ€Å" mitigate to have it and not need it, than to need it †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Go! Ill get some rest, the doctor will check Sophie out, and well take her home in the morning.”\r\nâ€Å"That seems soon.”\r\nâ€Å"Its standard.”\r\nâ€Å"Should I pay back more propane for the camp scope?”\r\nâ€Å"Well try to make it last.”\r\nâ€Å" moreover †â€Å"\r\nRachel held up the buzzer, as if her demands were not met, the consequences could be dire. â€Å"Love you,” she said.\r\nâ€Å"Love you, too,” Charlie said. â€Å"Both of you.”\r\nâ€Å"Bye, Daddy.” Rachel puppeted Sophies little hand in a wave.\r\nCharlie felt a lump acclivitous in his throat. No one had ever called him Daddy in the lead, not even a puppet. (He h ad once asked Rachel, â€Å"Whos your daddy?” during sex, to which she had replied, â€Å"Saul Goldstein,” indeed rendering him impotent for a week and raising all kinds of issues that he didnt really like to think about.)\r\nHe indorse out of the room, palming the door conclude as he went, then headed down the hall and sometime(prenominal) the desk where the neonatal nurse with the snake stain gave him a crabwise smile as he went by.\r\nCharlie drove a six-year-old minivan that hed ancestral from his father, along with the thrift inject and the building that housed it. The minivan always smelled faintly of dust, mothballs, and body odor, despite a forest of smell-good Christmas trees that Charlie had hung from every hook, knob, and protrusion. He unresolved the car door and the odor of the unwanted †the wares of the thrift-store possessor †washed over him.\r\n in advance he even had the primordial in the ignition, he notice the Sarah McLachlan CD lying on the passenger seat. Well, Rachel was going to miss that. It was her favorite CD and there she was, recovering without it, and he could not have that. Charlie grabbed the CD, locked the van, and headed back up to Rachels room.\r\nTo his relief, the nurse had stepped away from the desk so he didnt have to tire out her nipping stare of accusation, or what he guessed would be her frosty stare of accusation. Hed mentally lively a short name and address about how being a good husband and father included anticipating the wants and needs of his wife and that included bringing her melody †well, he could use the rescue on the way out if she gave him the frosty stare.\r\nHe opened the door to Rachels room belatedly so as not to startle her †anticipating her warm smile of disapproval, but instead she appeared to be asleep and there was a very tall blue man dressed in push-down stack green stand up next to her bed.\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing here?”\r\nThe man in mint green turned, startled. â€Å"You can see me?” He gestured to his chocolate-brown tie, and Charlie was reminded, just for a second, of those thin mints they put on the pillow in nicer hotels.\r\nâ€Å"Of course I can see you. What are you doing here?”\r\nCharlie moved to Rachels bedside, putting himself between the unknown region and his family. Baby Sophie seemed fascinated by the tall black man.\r\nâ€Å"This is not good,” said mess hall Green.\r\nâ€Å"Youre in the wrong room,” Charlie said. â€Å"You get out of here.” Charlie reached behind and patted Rachels hand.\r\nâ€Å"This is really, really not good.”\r\nâ€Å"Sir, my wife is trying to sleep and youre in the wrong room. Now please go before †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Shes not sleeping,” said Mint Green. His voice was soft, and a little Southern. â€Å"Im sorry.”\r\nCharlie turned to look down at Rachel, expecting to see her smile, collect her tell him to calm down, but her eyes were closed and her head had lolled off the pillow.\r\nâ€Å"Honey?” Charlie dropped the CD he was carrying and shook her gently. â€Å"Honey?”\r\nBaby Sophie began to cry. Charlie felt Rachels forehead, took her by the shoulders, and shook her. â€Å"Honey, wake up. Rachel.” He put his ear to her affection and heard nothing. â€Å"Nurse!”\r\nCharlie scramble across the bed to grab the buzzer that had slipped from Rachels hand and lay on the blanket. â€Å"Nurse!” He pounded the button and turned to look at the man in mint green. â€Å"What happened…”\r\nHe was gone.\r\nCharlie ran into the hall, but no one was out there. â€Å"Nurse!”\r\nTwenty seconds subsequently the nurse with the snake tattoo arrived, followed in another thirty seconds by a resuscitation group with a crash cart.\r\nThere was nothing they could do.\r\n'